Jewish Monkeys Launch Onslaught

I mean, what? How do you describe the Jewish Monkeys? We’ve certainly tried in the past but I guess it’s lost on most of you. Certainly, all the incel morons that insist on leaving comments about how awesome Hitler was and how much Jews suck – those guys don’t get it. What about those Jews that hear some Klezmer licks and the occasional bit of Yiddish and think the Monkeys are the musical version of the Bund? First, those Yevsektsiya motherfuckers do not know how to have fun, and they would never be caught dead on a site like this. They’re too high on Wokaine to shake their booty. All they wanna do is talk about Trotsky and Tikkun Olam. What about those Jews who seem to be always concerned about Israel, who fetishize land in the West Bank over, you know, actual Jewish values, who think Donald Trump is the best thing since processed cheese spread, who gladly get into bed with Christian Evangelists despite the fact that they only need 144,000 of us and the rest can literally burn in Hell for all eternity… well, they are not so much fun at parties.

So who is this for? German hipsters apparently – judging by the upcoming tour dates that the Jewish Monkeys announced, in places like Berlin and Cologne and something with an umlat and Paris. Of course. Me? I am fascinated by all manifestations of Ashkenazic Jewish culture. Just like Geffilte Fish, I may not understand it, but I certainly appreciate the mix that is so representative the rootless cosmopolitanism of my people. We featured Catastrophic Life because look! Jews with payes! So obviously appropriate for a site called JewTube. I am also going to embed Le Grand Bazar below because it’s in French (which doesn’t make it less accessible), was shot in Tel Aviv, and has that relentless Club Med tempo the Gauls love so much. Enjoy!


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